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The Car Drop-off Routine

Me: “Okay kids, we’re about a quarter-mile away from the school. Let’s start getting ready.”


Me: “Take your seatbelts off and gather near the door. Okay? Get those jackets zipped up. Get all your stuff you need to take in. Put it in your hands so you’re ready.”


Me: “We’re almost there--get those backpacks on tight and put your hand on the door handle. Got it? T-minus ten seconds...this is not a drill. You should be ready to tuck and roll within a moment's notice.”


(Door opens)

Me: “Okay, this is it. Everyone out--have a great day!”

Kids: “I’m stuck.”

“My seatbelt won’t come off.”

“Where’s my jacket?”

“Hey--don’t touch me. He’s touching me!”

“I only have one shoe.”

“I think my backpack is in the trunk.”

“I can’t go in there with these socks! These socks are the worst!”

“Mommy, why did you take me off my basketball team three seasons ago? That was my favorite team and you ruined it!”

“It’s too cold to get out of the car. Why is it so cold?”

Me: Everyone get out of the #$%**@! car RIGHT $#@% NOW! (smiles sweetly at the teacher holding the door.)

Me: Drives off with two lunch boxes, one shoe, three library books, seven jackets, a Valentine box and a poster board project on the back seat.

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