I'm doing some consulting work and I needed to make an important call, but all four kids were home and I didn't want screaming in the background. I was talking to my husband about this on the phone, and he started making all of these suggestions.
"Give them a cookie before you call," he says.
"No, because it will only take them one second to eat the cookie and it will guarantee they will bother me to demand more."
"Give them lots of cookies."
No response necessary.
"Put them upstairs in the playroom with a movie," he says.
"No, because they always get into too much trouble up there alone."
"Well, lock the bathroom door and put the baby gate at the top of the stairs. It will only take a few minutes. You were looking for ideas--what else can you do?"
So seven minutes later I texted my husband the following:
"I just went up to get the boys after my call and the baby has soaked himself and the bathroom playing in the toilet with the toilet brush while the other three climbed to the top of the closet and pulled down all that stuff off the top shelf where they found an entire six-pack of play doh and smashed it into the carpet. And that's why I can't leave them alone upstairs while I make a call."
You know, being right all the time should feel better than this.