I will not engage you in a battle of who is grossest today. In short, I have a child who is currently prescribed to take double the adult dosage for a daily laxative. I win. I will let you fill in the details with your own imagination. Here’s a hint, it’s worse than that. Enough said.
The other part of our weekly topic is not forgetting to take care of you. The parent. How are you taking care of you? This is a good question. The answer, for me, is a simple one. I’m not. I have totally neglected myself in many ways. I was once a reasonably attractive, healthy, well-dressed individual that didn’t give a second thought to body odor prevention or facial hair removal. Now, everything on that list is debatable.
I IN NO WAY BLAME THIS ON BEING A PARENT. I put that in caps because I don’t want to catch heat for claiming that I let my kids ruin my life. I am not saying that it is their fault the way I find myself. Or that I do not really enjoy the way things are now. I am merely answering a question, so hear me out. I don’t actually know why I care so little for myself anymore. I see other mothers, it seems most of the other mothers, dropping off kids at the preschool who are fit, toned, tanned, manicured and decked out in the hottest spring trends (the mothers, not the kids. Well, actually, the kids too). A part of me wants to be like them. A small part, obviously, because I just don’t. I hate to spend money, so things like trends are just not things I enjoy purchasing. I want to work out, clean the nuggets out of my car, style my hair, exfoliate, but when I get a moment that I consider “free,” I spend it on something else I deem more valuable at the time.
Yesterday for Preschool Graduation, I went all out, and plucked, shaved, did my hair and makeup and put on a dress. You’d have thought I was Beyoncé from the response. But instead of being proud about it, it made me feel like I should probably try harder so that people aren’t gobsmacked when I wear real clothes.
I think the problem is, I’ve always been really low maintenance. Even before kids, I wore minimal makeup and ran home and changed into sweats. And that was when I had people to impress. Now, I am surrounded by unconditional love, and it truly knows no bounds. A good day is one where we sing in the car and get Sonic slushes, or run around the park until we all smell like wildebeests. Just like I love them with crusty noses and vomit (and seemingly endless poop) they love me with a ponytail and bushy eyebrows. So while I would like to tell you how I spend time for myself, I can only say that I will probably take time for myself again when the kids are a bit older. I assume I will put on real shoes and deodorant and I might even leave my house once in a while. I will take Zumba and join the ladies golf league. My husband and I might even go on dates to the movies once in a while. But those are dark, so I will definitely wear sweats. A girl likes to be comfortable, you know?