Here's a little thing I wrote for Gross Week over at Growing Up Last. You can follow the Growing Up Last team at growinguplast.tumblr.com. Warning--proceed with caution; this one is pretty gross...
Over on my personal blog, I occasionally post a list called, Did I Just Sat That? I read an article a while back, listing the things we say as parents that while totally reasonable in context are utterly (pun intended) ridiculous. I started keeping a list on my phone whenever I found myself saying some ridiculous thing, and I share that list in sections.
Today, for Monday Messes & Success, I thought I would release a bit of that list now. In keeping with this week’s theme, Gross things we do as parents, I have compiled a list of crazy quotes with the theme Gross things we say as parents. This list represents a lot of different messes. Consider my success this week that I came up with something, and actually posted it on a Monday!
Did I just say that? Growing up Last Edition
“You can't eat your dinner on the toilet.”
“You can't sit at the dinner table with a naked butt.” These first two were part of the same continued conversation.
“Don't drink the poop water!” Why I hate bath time.
“This is not a buffet so just sit there and poop!” There is a lot of pooping and eating at my house.
“I’m the mom; I’ll do whatever I want with my fingers!” Enough said.
“My toenails are so long, they hurt.” TMI, Mom edition.
“I keep my pinky nails long for digging.”
“Well fart then, but do it while you clean.” The kids were running out of reasons not to clean their room.
“Can’t a woman just clean vomit in peace?” One of the nicer things I’ve asked to do in peace.
“Who threw up in this backpack?” Spoiler alert, turns out it wasn’t vomit…
“He’s got his foot in the toilet again.”
“Why is there shredded cheese in your diaper?” Spoiler alert, turns out it wasn’t shredded cheese…
“Stay over here where I can smell you.” Potty training at its finest.
“Eat the food off your face first and then I’ll give you some more.”
“Get away from that fire! You’re just warming the poop!” Safety first.
“Sure, I’m the queen. And my land’s greatest exports are poop and tears.”
Her royal highness, Queen Jenay (4amusingmuses)