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Mother of the Year Award

Congratulations to me! I am being honored with this award for the following contributions I have made to the art of motherhood today alone:

  • Absentmindedly fed the baby sausage bread after learning a few weeks ago has a mild allergy to egg-whites that causes his eczema to flare up. There is one egg in the entire loaf of bread, and yet the baby’s cheek is all red and scratchy.

  • My three-year-old bit a little girl’s finger today at school. I asked him if they were fighting and he said no. So either he is a good liar or his flirting game is all wrong. Either way, we’ve got a problem.

  • I decided to decline BRAC testing to determine if I carry the breast cancer/ovarian cancer gene, despite my high risk.I see testing as a lose/lose situation for me. The test costs hundreds of dollars and can come out one of two ways: A) I don’t have the gene (goodbye hundreds of dollars) or B) I have the gene and it is recommended that I remove my breasts and ovaries at the age of 33 even though I do not now have or might not ever get either cancer. But close monitoring and other testing says that I’m fine right now, so I’d rather stay in denial a little longer. The doctor looked at me like I am a nut job and asked, “If you have it, there is a 50% chance you passed it on to your children. Don’t you want to know if your children carry the gene?” Sigh. So, yeah, I’ll probably get this test next week.

  • Even though it is a gorgeous day outside, I have the children inside watching a movie so I can write this because I forgot to charge the iPad.

Oh, there are more, but I have to go. The awards committee is at the door with my trophy.


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