The Language of Love


At our last meeting, my mom’s group learned about Gary Chapman’s five love languages in preparation for Valentine’s Day. I’ve heard about these for the longest, and have always meant to learn more about them. I’ve heard that it having different love languages can make communication with a loved one more difficult. I was interested to learn more about what my love language is, as well as my husband’s to see if I was missing out on some secret formula that might improve our communication.

The five love languages are as follows:

  • Words of Affirmation

  • Acts of Service

  • Receiving Gifts

  • Quality Time

  • Physical Touch

I didn’t need the entire presentation to quickly peruse this list and figure out which of these are more important to me, and my husband. At first glance, I pegged myself as a Quality Time type of girl, while my husband is all Words of Affirmation. As we discussed with the group, I found myself realizing that while I say I just want quality time (and I meant it at one point) I am now much more impressed by Acts of Service. We took a little quiz which solidified this –I scored the highest in Acts of Service, and Quality Time was a close second.

This change is completely due to motherhood. I spend so much time doing everything for everybody else that someone doing something for me goes a long way. I’m sure that once my kids get older and begin to carry their own weight, my priorities will shift once again. But for now, the key to my heart is cleaning toilets.

No, really—my group thought I was joking too. We did a cute craft and made a Date Jar, filled with popsicle sticks that have ideas for fun dates written on them. You are supposed to reach in the jar and pull a random date stick, and then that is what you do for date night. We were all reading through the suggestion list (movie night, bowling, picnic), while trying to come up with date ideas that made sense for our own families. When I mentioned clean the toilets, they all laughed and said, “No, it has to be something romantic that you can do together.” Has this really become my idea of romance? No way!

Or maybe, just a little? Hear me out, I have four boys. The oldest just started peeing while standing. As cute as he looks standing there smiling with his hands on his hips, I must admit his aim is terrible. Unless he just doesn’t understand that the purpose of this exercise is to actually get a little bit of pee into the giant hole. And when my husband does clean a toilet, he does an exceptional job—on the seat. He doesn’t seem to realize that the bowl and the floor must also be cleaned. So, yeah, I’m in the stage of life where proper toilet etiquette and hygiene really rock my world.

You have your romance…I’ll have mine.


4 Amusing Muses
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