Don’t Wake Baby
Rules: try to remove all four sleeping children from the car into the house without waking them.
Scoring:
Keep 0 asleep – go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Keep 1 asleep – lose a turn
Keep 2 asleep – Give 2 remaining children a cookie and reward yourself with alone time in the bathroom for about four minutes or when they come to ask for a second cookie.
Keep 3 asleep – Put 1 remaining child in front of the television and reward yourself with time on the actual desktop computer (not smartphone, tablet or laptop) and write or surf your social media uninterrupted for about 11 minutes or until the next commercial break. *Strategy tip—if you get greedy for time and try to put on a movie, you risk having an argument about what to watch, and waking more children, in which case you will have to rescore yourself (see above).
Keep all 4 asleep- Read a magazine, but first make piles of like-colored dirty clothes on the floor, so if your husband walks in you can quickly look like you were using this time to catch up on laundry.
Would You Like Some Cheese with That Whine?
Rules: mimic a whining child by saying everything they are in the exact, whiny voice
Scoring:
They run off crying = 2 points
They stop crying = 3 points
They laugh = 5 points
They stomp off saying, “I’m going to tell Daddy” = YOU WIN
*Strategy tip: all games are instantly won when the child voluntarily decides to make their issue Daddy’s problem